“you are the first thing that i have ever loved in my life.. you don’t have to point it out.”
- feb 10, 2012
LOL. Life.
that’s just fucking marvelous.
words cannot fathom the intensity that boils through my veins right now.
i am kicking and screaming inside as i feel my blood pressure sky rocketing.
are. you. fucking. kidding. me. no. seriously. are. you. fucking. for. real. right. now.
in my mind, you are dead to me.
don’t call me fake for keeping up appearances and pleasantries when i see you,
it’s called life.
you have to be around people you don’t like, and the better you’re in control, the easier it will roll off your shoulders the next time.
but that’s the thing, i’ve never liked you. i probably despise you more and more the more i hear your ugly name - let alone when i HAVE to see you.
but i have to deal with it. you and your ugly soul.
i’ve got a few people in my life i despise and you’re up there at the top just for being you.
birthdays.
I recently celebrated my 21st birthday and someone asked me, “What’d you learn this year?” I wasn’t sure what to say at the time so I just laughed it off and said, “A lot.” After 48 hours of mulling it over, I’ve come to the conclusion - the older you get, the more you realize that life is a game of politics. You have to please people, say and do the right things, and can only truly get away with anything only because you can. It isn’t enough that you try your best or do what you can. Every day that passes, I feel like I’m sinking in a sea of judgement. I’m exhausted. I’m a far ways from being on my own and I cannot wait to get out of here. This and everything with it, is a chapter that’s been going on too long. Every part of my life slowly has been morphing into a political situation. I am so tired of pretending to think this, to say that. Maybe I’m just tired. Three weeks into school and I already am burnt out. *sigh* Why can’t I have a birthday that I like. doesn’t make me hate the world. They say, do what you love and surround yourself with people you love and love you back. Why is that so hard for me right now.
(Source: lovequotesrus)
